The Noble Gases Go To the Zoo
by Secret Toasty Pirate
Summary: This is actually a story I made for science class, with a few alterations. The Malfoys and Snape go to the zoo! WOOT!


**Title --** The Noble Gases go to the Zoo

**Author --** The STP...that'd me me.

**Summary --** This is actually a story I made for science class, with a few alterations. The Malfoys and Snape go to the zoo! WOOT!

**Rating -- **PG

**Author's Note**: Yes. As the summary clearly states, this story was originally for my science class. We had to pick a group on the Periodic Table and put them in a human situation and give them human characteristics. I picked the Noble Gases because they do not "socialize" well with other elements, rather like the Malfoys and anything less then purebloods. So...yeah.

**DISCLAIMER --** I, as you halfwits should plainly know, do not own Harry Potter, or anything having to do with Harry Potter. I also do not own the Badger Song (please see ), nor do I own "The Elements" song, a rather fabulous song indeed.

* * *

"Narcissa, where is my cane?" yelled Lucius Malfoy from downstairs. Narcissa sighed. _Lucius and his cane,_ she thought. 

"Right here, dear. Is Draco ready?"

"Yes, now let's go!" snapped Lucius irritably. Though he had every reason in the world to be irritable.

Narcissa grabbed Lucius' cane and rushed downstairs. Lucius and Draco were waiting by the door. Neither of them looked very happy.

She handed Lucius his snake cane. He snatched it out of her hands. "Now that we're all finally ready," he sniffed, flipping his long, shiny blonde hair. Draco scowled at the floor. "I want to get this over with as soon as possible."

"I want Draco to have a thourough understanding of Muggle life," said Narcissa, putting on a very expensive looking fur coat. One hundred percent Sphinx fur, to be precise.

Draco did not respond. He was seventeen, and still his mother treated him like a third year.

"Alright then, let's go," said Narcissa. Thus, the three Malfoys apperated to the London Zoo.

* * *

At the zoo.... 

The Malfoys stood in front of the zoo, looking apprehensive. With the exception of Narcissa, of course, because she organized the whole trip.

"Er...let's see if we can find Severus," said Lucius, glancing around, continuously flipping his hair, because he thought it looked sexy. And he was completely correct in thinking so. But I digress.

Narcissa shot a glare at him. "You invited _Severus_?" she hissed.

"Well, yes...I didn't want to suffer--"

Narcissa growled.

"Erm...I mean...I thought Severus could use a bit of Muggle studies as well. He's not exactly up to par when it comes to Muggles," said Lucius. Narcissa raised a perfectly waxed eyebrow.

"Neither are you, Lucius Malfoy. I suggest you behave yourself...perhaps you might learn something."

With that, she turned to walk through the entrance, but stopped and screamed. Lucius whirled around and gave an alarmingly high-pitched shriek as well. Draco followed suit.

For standing at the entrance of the zoo was Severus Snape, holding a strobe light and moving his arms about in ways a normal human-being could not.

Draco gaped at Severus. "Erm....Professor Snape?"

As though coming out of a trance, Severus chucked the strobe light as far as he could (resulting in a very nasty wreck between a Double Decker Bus and a Mini Cooper) and stared at the Malfoys.

"Err...yes...well...took you long enough," said Severus. Draco continued to gape, but Lucius, used to these random moments, said, "Ah, Severus. Thank _God_ you came," he added in a murmur.

"Indeed," said Severus with distaste, eyeing the zoo.

"Well...let us venture to the Reptile House!" exclaimed Lucius, hooking arms with Severus (much to his dismay) and frollicking through the zoo entrance, leaving a bewildered (and somewhat frightened) Draco and Narcissa behind.

* * *

In front of the Reptile House... 

"GASP!" gasped Lucius as the two wizards stood in front of the Reptile House. Severus rolled his eyes, an ever-infamous scowl plastered across his pale face. "Let's GO!"

Lucius burst through the door, and gave another high-pitched shriek. Severus, heaving a sigh, stepped in after him. Immediatley, his jaw dropped.

All around the Reptile House were badgers, bouncing up and down on mushrooms, singing, "The Elements" by Tom Leher. Nevermind the fact that this is a Reptile House. You never know.

"There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium, and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium," sang the badgers in perfect harmony.

Suddenly, a snake slithered in front of the two shocked wizards and sang, "AAH snake, a snake, snake, a snake, oooh its a snake!!" Then it handed them some corn on the cob and slid off into the shadows.

SUDDENLY, a shadowey figure emerged from the shadows which the snake had slid into!!

"I am Lord Voldemort!! Mwahahaha!!" the shadowey figure cried. Lucius gave yet another shriek, began to glow pink and exploded in a brilliant flash of color. Narcissa and Draco rushed in suddenly.

"NOO! FATHER!" shouted Draco, sinking to his knees in despair. A moment of silence passed...then...

"PARTAAAY!" roared Voldemort. Severus, rather then find his own strobe light, turned himself INTO one. A disco ball dropped from the ceiling, and the five surviving wizards and witch proceeded to dance.

* * *

THE END!! 


End file.
